i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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