Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
