it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
