Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
