Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
