I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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