this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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