I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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