yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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