So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
