every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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