I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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