come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
