Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
