Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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