i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
