we're blogging at a bar
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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