eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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