My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
