Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
