I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
