my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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