he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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