I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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