having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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