How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
