I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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