why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
