So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The air taste purple.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
