lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
