I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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