Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
