Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
