p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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