I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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