I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
