She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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