I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
