im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
