it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
