I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
