Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
