hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize