i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
