Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
