beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
