you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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