Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
