In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
