Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's shark week go big or go home
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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