high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
