Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i now understand why vodka
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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