Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
