and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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