remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I died a long time ago.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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