So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
