Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
