I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
