My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
