Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
