I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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