She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
