we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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